a headline that could have appeared before the NY Times Bang! Pow! Zap! Comics Aren’t For Kids Anymore! (referenced here but unavailable to non-subscribers. Really elementary pandering comparing comics and cartoons to novelistic mediums that displayed the journalistic’s over eager ineloquence rather than anything interesting about the medium).

We learn in a Martian Manhunter tale from the Golden era of Martian culture that they control their history through the controlled transmission of sacred memories from generation to generation. (specifically, in #33).

Seriously, it even gets more biologically speculative/doooooooooope later.

After reading of the Martian Manhunter one million universe turning humans into Martians through the assumption of Martian crops (begging for a future Swamp Thing to appear, of course),


And then, it frickin hit me, where Ostrander’s brilliant DC One Million universe character has yet to go, and it would be in the DC Two Million universe. You see, there is one comic (of many) yet to be written that I need to describe. We have seen Martian Manhunter assume the omnipotence of the Spectre and rush off to Mars to recreate his race [#23]. We have seen him brood the loss of a telepathic partner [#9]. He clearly yearns for the companionship of specieshood, instead of godhood. And, in the one million universe, he has bested Darkseid yet again by becoming one with the spectre and becoming Mars [#1,000,000]. Humans even eat the matter from Mars, and are becoming partially Martian themselves, gaining the powers (and perhaps the fears???) of their oblique siblings.

Through another superpower we learn about in these comics. More specifically, we also learn about the Martian reproductive system. Apparently, it requires two different Martian Manhunters with different consciousness to merge their matter in a single entity, and let it go [#33].

It’s also entirely possible that J’onn becomes immortal. In The DCU One million universe he has possessed Mars, for crying out loud. Surely a Martian race content to remain dormant until large enough threats emerge could exist. A million martian manhunters, delighting in the intricate conciousness of multiple secret personas adopting multiple secret personas. A world of J’onn J’onzz that had forgetten they were all forged from the same man.

What would that planet do????

Indeed, after recreating the race and questioning himself after it becomes incredibly violent, he is approached by the Phantom Stranger (in the 1706th century DCU, of course), who has a talk. He can either have these beings dwindle into nothing, or he can use their energy, and their power. He can use his sophisticated telepathy to seduce this race with brutish and blunt minds not yet skilled enough to expel thoughts from their brain.

All of us are pieces of the same man, and we have simply forgotten our ties to the one true man. Phantom Stranger reveals his true mission: to deliver a message to Martian Manhunter. The first being that would eventually become the Martians was actually an incredibly ancient and super super technologically advance race that lived on an earth before us. In fact, they used it all up and created another to escape a deadly plague of cockroaches. A rogue Kryptonian, a colonizing and benelovent ancestor of General Zod, sees the planet in turmoil, and, along with his friend’s help (of course a scientific and abrasively poetic and musical ancestor of Jor-El), they recreate the planet, ashamed that they could not spare one original race of humanity. Spare references to the original Earth exist in arcane Kryptonian folklore, but none is consistent, and none is substantive at all. Apparently, every Kryptonian besides Zod’s ancestor was afraid of the Earth race that bequeathed the Martians.

More simply put, every Martian came from a single, exiled Earth, the last of his planet born with the reproductive and shapeshifting powers. What separates humanity from Martians is their mastery of fire, and, thus, electricity and machinery. They cannot use super powers to tame matter around them, so they approach it obliquely. With their hands. That is how humanity changes their shape, the Phantom Stranger tells J’onn. Through machinery. They are the synthesized robots of a now dead race.

Moreover, we also learn that Mars gave Darkseid the Anti-Life Equation. By simply giving him the idea in a child’s curious and telepathic idea eager to be read does Darkseid gain the idea of the equation’s existence. A child’s unguarded curiosity during an alien encounter doomed the DC Universe. A tyrant’s curiosity brings soldiers to Mars, and many beloved Martians are taken to be tortured [#34].

So, in order to rectify this mistake, J’onn follows the captured and enslaved Martians back to Apokolips, and vows to halt the progress of the anti-life equation. Convenient for his philosophy, he also can’t boom tube back. During his years on Apokolips (which Ostrander leaves deliciously ambiguous), he becomes the only living soul on Apokolips making his own decisions. The New Gods deify and bargain for his salvation. Almost without motivation or character explanation [still #34. it’s a dope issue. Metal Gear Solid, Martian new-new testament style with a beautiful appearance by almost invisible Kirby creation Himon.]

Dear readers, here is the other shocking revelation of this proposed Martian Manhunter 2 million mini-series: The New God’s source is a conduit for receiving Martian the powerful ambience of faraway Martian thought. They settled the New Gods earlier and breathed its brethren into life such as J’onn now does on his own planets. The Martians, who control their species’ collective history through thought control, have repressed this fact, as well as their initial Terran origin. In order to curb their vanity, they denied this, but through this they unconsciously confirm that thoughts from the proper distance become truths.

This is the sole purpose that Phantom Stranger was rectified into existence by the great father: to transparently and truthfully communicate this message to Martian Manhunter at this time. Because it was so important to deliver, the word granted this being with immortality and omnipotence, assuring that nothing could ever prevent his quest.

Able to curb the vanity that his thoughts are truth, Martian Manhunter decides that he will rid the universe of the burden of consciousness and ego and thoughts unrelated to teh natural environment of which every piece of matter is a part. Perhaps all matter came from these Martians. Apparently, he came from the race that created almost everything, and he is omnipotent. He has a world made in his own reflection to prove it. And so, to save the world, he will become a rock. Reflect pacifism across the land. Moreover, he considers the chance of wiping out every last trace of sentience besides a million versions of his almost omnipotent self. He turns the deranged shapeshifters into eager army combatants while spouting the logic of existence as consumption and the advertisement of slaughter. Then, during their launch into the stars, he gives a speech.

He announces that there is the dire threat of darkness, that the universe is collapsing.

He then lets his individual selves go on to form outsposts of the universe, constantly expanding it according to imagination instead of nature. His true purpose becomes clear after creating one world on the brink of destruction for a planet forced into diaspora. They create what others will enjoy. The comic ends with the haunting passage of no fire existing, and the martian manhunters thanking humanity for the contribution of electricity, unthinkable with their physiology.

DC, LET ME WRITE A MARTIAN MANHUNTER COMIC!!!!

may H’ronmeer’s fire burn the sand into glass.

(a prayer in a Martian cult, don’t you know. H’ronmeer being the Martian god of fear, fire, memories, artistic inspiration, and death, of course, among many more).

To leave you with, J’onn from the one million universe who had become a planet sent this mental treasure back with Kyle Rayner to share on the worst day of J’onn’s life [which was but a locked box in his mind that only J’onn could unlock]. from #36:

“I was given a vision, Kyle, a vision of what was to come. Beyond even the time you visited.

It was beautiful, Kyle. A time of peace and beauty and justice, True Justice for all. Minds, Hearts, and Spirits evolve as well as bodies and choices are ultimately made for good.

The path will sometimes be hard and treacherous. But it is worth striving for. It is worth the pain and the tears. That was the message, Kyle. I can bear anything, I think, knowing that. With all my heart and soul, I will fight for that tomorrow.”

I totally wanna write the comic about that time! when J’onn saves the universe from collapsing and matter is no longer a zero-sum game.

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